So, I have quite the question I truly need answered.
Loving those who we don't see eye to eye with.
How do I do it?
I am STUBBORN. That is no secret! I don't like to be wrong. Then again... Who does??
I come from a STRONG LDS family and have been taught Respect, Integrity, and most importantly Gratitude. I am not used to people needing attention. I am not used to people speaking freely and colorfully.
I married into what I like to call, "A Double Family". It has been really wonderful for me & at the same time a challenge. I feel blessed to have twice the amount of in-laws, twice the amount of support, and double the fun. I do love BIG families. However, with twice the amount of people, there are more personalities & differences.
One that has been on my mind all day is JESSA LOVE ADAMS-
I gained a sister-in-law my own age.
Jessa is a spunky fireball. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it. She is loud and speaks her mind freely. She is a BEAUTY. Never a dull moment with her. Jessa is an inspiration to people! She has such an exciting outlook on life and isn't afraid of a challenge. She doesn't let things in the past get in the way with the future. Very admirable & adventurous.
Those that know me, know that I am one to sit quietly in the back of a large crowd. I am one who would rather listen than talk. I am very conservative and held back. I don't like change. I don't deal with change very well. I get overwhelmed and almost a tad intimidated.
My solution to change is to shut down,
bottle things up, and then explode when I can't take anymore.
I shut down at a family reunion earlier this year and just pulled the extremely immature cold shoulder act. I tried to create words, but it was like my mouth wouldn't let them out. (due to my stubbornness) I am still in the process of fixing things completely. I am trying to love unconditionally as the Savior would. I am trying to just forgive and forget.
I have learned to respect everybody no matter their outlook on life, choices, or feelings. I have learned to let things go, to forgive... but maybe it is that i am still working on the forgetting thing. I need to not hold people to such high standards, and love no matter what.
I learned today that trying is not near good enough. I need to quit trying & actually DO. I need to be the cute, KIND, fun loving sister-in-law I want to be. Someday I want my kiddos to love unconditionally, and not be judgemental.
How are they suppose to do that when i'm being stuck up and bratty and when I, myself wont move on??
I don't want to be the rude, snooty, judgemental in law. The one everyone dreads seeing at a family get together.
So starting today, I am letting things go, I am going to fix things up. I am going to start being the sister-in-law that she can hopefully feel comfortable going to if she ever needed something. I want her to feel comfortable to visit her brother, or to come over. I want my kids to love their Auntie & look forward to seeing her.
I want to have the sweet sister-in-law relationship where I can take over pumpkin cupcakes with a "just because" note. OR to be able to just shoot a text without feeling i'm overstepping my boundaries.
I love Jessa! I love her sense of style. I sometimes envy the gorgeous selection of her trendy clothes. Her spontaneous personality. Most of all, I love how close she and Chase are. I love their relationship & would never want to do anything that would put a dent in that.
I've had a change of heart. I love and care for you Jessa Love Adams. I am sorry it has taken me sooo long to figure out how to deal with change, how to get over MYSELF & problems. I hope that we someday will have a close relationship. Look on the bright side... you'd get pumpkin cupcakes! ;)
